Well...gosh it has been a year since I posted and here and things have really changed.  The kid went played baseball for a Semester and came home!  He hated it and he came home to go to Community College.  He is going off to another Junior College here in Texas in August.  Gosh it is tuff being a Mom...!  My husband and him get along but not really.  We got preg and then married at 18 years old had our son who is 19 years old.  Today I am 38 going to be 39 in Aug...!  Still married with the same man and only 1 child.  I am a very easy going Mom and probably to leaniate for a Mom and then there is my husband who grew up in a very very strict life with  his mother who I really do not like to be very honest with you.  Anyway this morning we got up and this girl is in his bedroom and you all are probably saying OH MY GOSH and we did too.  Our son is great kid but he is taking advantage of us and he told me today I smother him and his dad hates him.   The deal with his dad is that "dad" is quiet and would rather NOT KNOW and when something does happen he is quietly tells him do not do that again therefore PISSES off the kid and then I have to back my husband which I TOTALLY DO ON THIS MATTER.  I told the kid do the math that is how you go here...!  I feel like I have done a shitty job as a parent being to liberal with him.  Now I don't allow drinking my house or do I buy him beer or alchol cause I know it is very very wrong.  I know he does it with his friends he is 19 years old...!  If any of you have gone through this how the frick do I deal with this mess I have created for myself!  UGH!  I am frustrated like alot!  Just had to vent this is for sure my venting area!  

Well it happend the kid is going to play baseball!!  I am so happy he got picked up at a Junior College here in Texas.  He was so pumped and so am I!  It is only about 2 hours from here which is great!  The school is really small but that is fine he wants to finish up at OU but this is perfect for him!!  Just wanted to share the good news with you all!  Yippee I can sleep now and not have anxiety attacks!  Now I am just going to be sad when he leaves for college! 

Yeah!!
Zan

Don't know if you all watched this today it was so neat to see her boys dance and celebrate her life.  She was a great lady wasn't she.  I think someone or some people were behind her death.  I can remember laying in bed that night in disbelief she was dead.  Could not believe she died the way she did!!  Her poor children how sad they must of been and probably still are   She had much class about herself!!   Today I sat for 4 hours watching that thing and could not get up in fear I would miss something.  Finally it was over then I did do some housework and poor hubby had to work I feel bad when he does and I am home especially on the weekend.  Work has been hard on him I know it then I put pressure on him about the kid!  Now my next dilema is that the kid has s tournment in Kansas and it is 7 hours away from here.  Now he has invited another kid to play on the team so that means that I don't have room for 3, 18 year old boys and me and hubby.  The kid said well maybe we could just drive ourselves.  Scary cause I am afraid they will get up there and get into some trouble!!  This one kid Dillon can be a fun kid but can be very much trouble!  I don't want to be the Mommy that is hanging on them but my kid just got a MIP at the Kenny Chesney concert so I don't want him to get into anymore trouble.  My kid never ever has gotten into any trouble until then.  I know it scared him to death I just hope he doesn't get himself caught into something and it makes more problems.  He has terrible luck like me and I hate it!  My friend from High School is in we are going to go shopping for our 20 year reunion that is July 21st this year.  WOW!  Cannot believe that it is has been that long!  Okay I am rambling again I am so good at that cause I want to get all of this off my chest and I love this blogging thing.  Never understood it before but like it!  Great release!!  See ya later!!

Thursday started out to be a great day well around 1:30 I decide to go and get the certified mail from the Post office.  The letter is a denial from my Tribe telling me my kid will not be getting the money from them.  That made me made cause this tribe pulls in almost a millon a month from Casino and our Tobacco Plant.  They cannot send my kid 2500.00 PLEASE!!     Then the kid goes for a baseball tryout thing and they do not say anything to him so he is feeling rejected!  I swear I want to get on the next plane to Cancun and stay there until all of this blows over.  I hate the unknown and what might happen what might NOT!  Kills me!  I have no patience at all.  It is almost July and we have NO idea where this kid of ours is going to school?????????  YUCK!  Tonight I am suppose to go this kids birthday party who is turning 17 and I know the mother is just wanting us to come to give him money.  Gosh I am so negative today I hate it.  Just rambling on and on...!  Well it feels good to get this off my mind and type it out.  Not sure if anyone is reading this but if are I am sorry for the harshness.  I am really a nice person really I am!!  I m iss my Yorkie too   His name was Freddy and he had a liver disease   What a good friend he was

Zan

Well drove to Tyler last night and got there pretty late and got lost.  Last night had a dream about my Yorkie that passed away then my 18 year old son got up with a horrible headache thought I was going to have rush him to ER never has he ever done this before.  Then about 5am a bad thunderstorm came woke me up again!!  Woke up at 7:30 called the college and they cancelled the stupid tryout/camp thing!  My life I swear is a mess!!  We both laughed and said it was our bad luck and came home.  Guess the good thing about it is that the kid drove on the highway cause he has never drove on Interstate before so guess that is what God wanted us to do?  I don't know?  Just pray that God puts our Son were he needs to be cause I am stressed at home I am stressed of the unknown?  I just want to crawl under rock and someone come get me when the grey cloud passes and the sunshine appears!  Will check back soon.  Oh hubby did call and check on us couldn't believe it. Never did ask to talk to the kid?  Oh well he talks sometimes??  Lord take all of this and change it!  Now I am just rabbling I should close now I just will  start depressing myself and then I will  really curl up and never come out of this house!